You aren’t a fucking goddess, but you’re too kind and too smart;

Despite what they have told us, I’ll never hold your heart.

I tell myself I don’t want it, but deep down, these are lies,

And no matter what I’m given I’m never satisfied.

I keep on finding reasons to hold you at a distance,

and the longer that I struggle, the weaker my resistance.

I can’t change who I am or how I’m feeling at the moment,

but being who I am will divide us deeply one day, won’t it?

Maybe it’s my fetish to push everyone so far away from me,

but when I tell you how I feel, you don’t know what to say to me.

I’ll never blame you, but sometimes I wish I could be your perfect someone,

Because you’re my perfect someone; I’d do anything for you.

Until this started unraveling you’d hypothetically be mine too.

queenrocks14:

And work here….

With my best friend….

For three months.

Something I used to ask myself all of the time.

What is love?

Something that meant absolutely nothing to me. A foreign concept completely.

I haven’t had a boy not tell me he loves me. It’s that awkward moment in your relationship where you look around to make sure this is real life, and there isn’t someone else standing behind you.

Oh god, then you have to respond. Well, what the hell do I say to that??

I was too self-loathing to love anyone. In the end, I told them what they wanted to hear and I dealt with the torturous consequences, until one day, like word vomit;

“I don’t really love you… because I don’t know what love is.”

That pretty much ended every relationship I never cared about. And now, here I am in the same situation I once fabricated. All of it, unreal, all of the heart I only ever gave to one man is a shattered, broken, discombobulated, dirty, filthy fallacy.

Because he looked me in the eye and told me, “I don’t know what love is.”

…After all of the times I asked him to be honest, to tell me if he didn’t truly love me, and he waited until now. Now, when I felt our love was the strongest.

But he doesn’t have to know what love is, in order for it to be there.

…don’t you see? It’s right in front of all of us. It’s something so simple, and so plain, we strive to understand it, our minds go in circles around it in order to quantify and classify and rectify something that just is.

We’ve lost sight of what love is, because we’ve over-complicated it to fit our hectic life styles. It’s more than a feeling now, it’s a checklist blahblahblah.

Love is in every moment between blinking, in the air we breathe, in the food we eat, in the connections we make, in the physical and non-physical.

Love is that feeling that burns inside your chest for only one person.

Love is the kindling of that fire, even after it’s been ignited.

It’s seeing the one you care for smile, knowing you have the power to warm them up.

Waking up next to that one person, and upon opening your eyes and making contact with theirs, you understand one another. They see you for all that you are, and you love yourself that much more.

It’s when your fingers touch in the middle of the night, and through all of the layers of deep, unconscious sleep, you still recognize that they’re with you, right beside you, a certainty.

It’s the feeling of emptiness when you watch them turn their back and walk away. And you know, down to the core, that you will never be the same without them.

So don’t anyone ever tell me that you don’t know what love is.

Because it’s right in front of you.

Roadkill.

This is like an eargasm. Why have I only just entered his world…?

Adam and Eve is a non-fiction analogy intended to keep us attached to our fallacies and away from the inquiries of who what and how cause we’ve searched our existence and there aren’t answers now. He whomever discovered that ignorance is bliss must have ventured too far and got tripped up on this: That knowledge brings comfort and conveniences first, it’s a gift to obtain but to bear, it’s a curse. And the only claimed answers are written in verse on paper so thin it’s supposed to fit in your purse but the ones who first wrote it just etched it in dirt, I’m supposed to accept that? I don’t know which is worse; That your god simply sits safely up on his perch throwing jests at the humans as they frantically search. But when sun goes to sleep the night sky melts with the stars, to show us domains that expand beyond ours, and suddenly we see that out there, it’s abysmal and the truth becomes clear, because the truth is just dismal.

When all I have left is my broken wing, my broken heart, and my broken skin.

We opened up our minds.

We saw with our own EYES.

We rediscovered the beauty of life.

We had a nice trip, see you all next fall.

Let’s start with this. In less than two months, this will be tattooed on my side for sure. The rest of it… I need to have it translated properly -____-

It can’t be over, so long as I can still PRETEND. ):